This isn’t about how I feel.” He took my hand, rubbed the fingers and played with my wedding ring. “If I was honest, really honest Deetz, you had me at our first kiss. It was shocking, exciting, and terribly real. It was the first time I’d had a feeling of love toward anyone except my parents. Up until then, I thought I’d just jet set around until my dick got tired. Screwing wasn’t much more than masturbation and I thought that was all I’d ever get, all that my life would ever be. With you, I have contentment, I’m settled.” He finally got the courage to look up at me. “You’d been the adventurer, the wanderer. I reckoned eventually I wouldn’t be enough.” “Internalized biphobia.” “What?” “It’s called internalized biphobia.” “Huh?” I smiled. My husband was a great linguist, a brilliant venture capitalist, powerfully sexy and ridiculously kind but a rocket scientist he wasn’t. “Nevermind.” I lifted his hand and kissed the palm. “Your aunt said it’s destiny created by 17th Century druids,. What I’d said was true, just not related to what I was blaming it on. “I appreciate your concern though. It hasn’t been easy to put everything behind us.”“Really? I was under the impression you’d recovered fully,” he said, glancing at Dr. Spencer who had remained quiet. I knew she’d told him nothing of the sort.“Physically, I’m not in a lot of pain any more. The surgery still bothers me some. We were all under so much stress that week though that it’s stayed with us. It’s still tearing us apart. My mother ... well, it’s been particularly hard on her. She was helping me get to appointments, working full time and trying to cope with my lingering symptoms.”“Still having difficulties?”“It kind of came to a head this weekend. My girlfriend and I blew up at each other. We haven’t been doing well since...” I shrugged apologetically. “I haven’t been sleeping, having difficulties with relationships. Dr. Spencer said I’d developed a Sexual Aversion Disorder and some other things. It’s been.
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